Kaylee Van Winkle - Day 4

Hi!  Well, it's hard to put into words all that the Lord has been teaching me.  The Lord started to really work on me - or I just started to pay attention - Monday afternoon.  It was our first VBS program, and I was excited. But I had a problem.  I was going into it with an attitude of "Oh ya, I'll trust You Lord, but I can do this by myself!"  BIG MISTAKE!  Needless to say, I had a hard time Monday afternoon, because of being shocked by their living conditions and because of my attitude going into it.  The Lord reminded me of how much I really need Him.  Like Pastor Matt said in our devos this morning, "We have nothing to offer these kids without Jesus."  Nothing.  No food.  No games.  No smiles.  Absolutely nothing.  Jesus is the source of our very being, so why do we treat our bodies like we own them?  We don't.  God has really been challenging me to completely put all of my faith and trust in Him.  He is the only One Who can protect, care, and love me completely.

Yesterday's devotional passage for the day was Matthew 25:31-46. These verses were so encouraging, and yet so convicting:

• Encouragement: Being Jesus to someone isn't just presenting the Gospel.  It is about loving the unlovely, feeding the hungry, caring for the sick (vs. 34-36).
• Conviction: Why am I not being Jesus to the unlovely and hungry and sick at home?  What is my excuse?  Is it, "I don't have enough time, money, or resources?"  Well, that is just lame.  IT'S NOT ABOUT ME according to Philippians 2:3-4!

While walking around yesterday to gather kids for VBS, we were yelled at a couple of times by teenage boys, which was slightly terrifying.  That is when I realized that I am not in control of my surroundings, protection, or even my life.  Right at that moment it clicked for me that I MUST trust and put my faith completely in Him and Him alone.  That attitude then spilled over into the kids, making our ministry SO awesome!

A few more observations: the poorest are often the most generous, while the wealthiest are so often spoiled or self-centered.  No matter how little we think we have, these children - and many like them - have significantly less!  When we were walking the hills to gather kids this afternoon, I was able to look into some of their "houses", which were more like shacks.  Some barely even had a roof or walls.  The children were dirty, had horrible living conditions, and some had no education.  How can I complain that the temperature is too hot outside, when I have an air-conditioned house to go into?

After the VBS program, the church gave our team water, and hand-made turtles, shawls, socks, and gloves.  I was so humbled and humiliated at the same time.  These were the poorest people I have ever met, yet they supplied us with water and gifts while they themselves have no bottled water.  Wow!

Finally, I was so blessed by the prayer walk we took this morning.  First, to be on a beach was great!  Second, to be able to share my heart with an amazing young woman who not only has a heart for the Lord, but also shares struggles with me was wonderful.  Our prayer time together meant so much to me.  Kyu also shared an awesome illustration right after our prayer walk.  We were talking about how we were struggling with patience and wanting to see results right away.  As we were walking on this rock covered beach, he pointed out that this beach will one day be all sand.  It will take a lot of time and a lot of waves, but it will eventually be all sand.  That really impacted me.  We are planting these seeds and since we have the ultimate Gardner, they will eventually sprout.  It may take a lot of time, weeding, and watering, but there will be fruit.

PATIENCE, Kaylee, PATIENCE!
In Christ Alone my hope is found.  He is my Light, my Strength, and my Song.

Kaylee Van Winkle